Chronic illness and adjustment
Support for living with chronic illness and life's hardest changes
Who this is for
A new or recent diagnosis/Autoimmune conditions/Chronic pain/Diabetes or heart disease/Cancer and recovery/Multiple sclerosis or other neurological conditions/Injury or disability/Partners and family members/Other difficult circumstances/
What adjustment can feel like
- —Grief for the life or body you had before
- —Uncertainty about what comes next
- —Frustration, anger, or feeling betrayed by your body
- —Isolation, or feeling misunderstood by healthy people
- —Guilt about needing help or saying no
- —Exhaustion from appointments and managing care
How it can affect relationships
- —Roles shift, and one partner becomes a caregiver
- —Plans and intimacy change
- —Loved ones say the wrong thing, or nothing at all
- —Hard conversations about the future get avoided
Worth knowing
The National Institute of Mental Health notes that people living with a chronic disease have a higher risk of depression, that the link runs in both directions, and that depression is treatable even when you have a chronic illness. Caring for your emotional health is part of caring for your health.
How therapy helps
Room for the hard feelings, and a way forward
We'll make space for what has been lost and for the feelings that come with it, without rushing you toward acceptance. Together, we'll explore how the illness has changed your sense of yourself and your relationships, and what still matters most to you.
Over time, we'll work on living well alongside the condition: pacing your energy, communicating your needs to loved ones and medical providers, and rebuilding a life that feels like yours. If you'd like, I'm glad to coordinate with your medical team with your permission. Telehealth also means no commute on difficult days.
Try it now
Plan today on the energy you actually have
This morning
8 left. Leaving some in reserve is wise.
Make a specific ask
Ask : "Could you on ?"
Specific asks are far easier to say yes to than "let me know if you need anything." Edit the words, then send it as written.
Still true about me. Write three things that are true about who you are, apart from your condition.
Name the losses. List what has changed. Grief that's named is easier to carry.
Top three questions. Write them before each appointment, and bring someone when you can.
For partners and caregivers
Trusted resources
- NIMH: Chronic Illness and Mental Health ↗
- A clear guide to how chronic illness and depression affect each other, and how depression is treated.
- Family Caregiver Alliance ↗
- A San Francisco-based nonprofit with caregiver guides, support groups, and a Bay Area caregiver center. Call 800-445-8106.
- Cancer Support Community Helpline ↗
- Free emotional support and resource navigation for people with cancer and their loved ones. Call 888-793-9355, weekdays.
- NAMI HelpLine ↗
- Free mental health information and support. Call 800-950-6264 or text "NAMI" to 62640.
Books worth reading
- How to Be Sick, Toni Bernhard
- The Chronic Illness Workbook, Patricia Fennell
Questions about chronic illness support
Do I need a specific diagnosis to get support?+
What if I have limited energy for sessions?+
Will you talk with my doctors?+
Can my partner join a session?+
Ready when you are.
The first conversation is free, and there's no pressure.